~BelovedlessUnBlind

1. List some things you want to say to 5 different people but you know you never will.
2. Don’t say who they are.
3. Feel free to comment, but don’t confirm or answer anything.
4. Never discuss it again.

1. I never wanted to believe you were a part of my life since I was born. You've caused me so much greif and self-hatred, that it's no wonder why I would want to end my life. You never taught me about hardship, though we lived through it every day and I didn't know what it was. I thought it was normal. I love you because you've always been there, but I will always be someone that's "just there" and never ever anything more. No one ever discusses my life with each other when I'm not there...Someone else is always more important...

And because I was always told not to bother you, I never gained that attention-seeking trait most other kids like me have. I'm becoming more and more the thing I hate, of being a wallflower, unimportant, undesired...

And I blame you.

2. You are the most incredible friend I've ever had, spent just a small amount of time in my life, but I'm in mad friend-love with you. You're so amazing and random, and whenever I hear something good about your life, I get so happy...but whenever I hear about the negatives, and everything bad, I just want to chase them away with a machetti or punch them in the face with a chain-saw. I can't...because I'm so far away. But soon, I promise, we'll be together again, we'll be a team and prove our worth. And I won't let you be hurt anymore. I refuse.


3. (this is actually to several people)

I really don't know any of you that well. You are really cool...really...but...I don't want to be friends with you. I'll end up hurting you, and you already have lives to lead. I'm too old to hang out like I used to...I already have a friend that I would spend time with, even if they are miles and miles away, I would choose them over all of you at the drop of a hat. Just please, focus on your own lives, and the friends you already have. Seek yourselves, don't try to learn me. It's a waste of your time...and I'm sorry...but it's a waste of mine too.

4. (This is to several people too, different group of people entirely)

My god I don't know where to start. So much I could just blab on about, and haha, I can see your faces now...I would have to start running for fear of being impaled by pitchforks! HAHA oh...I'm laughing too hard at something serious. But there's a secret, you'll never know. And I'm grinning right now, really big grin...I'm so amused by how you would react.

But then I know how ashamed you would be, and that would hurt me so much.

And that's why I'll never tell you, though you've all been there for me...though...I'm not 100% sure on how well you really care about me...seeing as I would stick my neck out for you <metaphor>if you had killed someone, I would hide you or something from the police and help you get a new name, though I know none of you would do that. But I know that if I had done that you'd all turn me in on a heartbeat :/ </metaphor> So, there's that. So I hope you would all forgive me when I lead my life away from all of you.

Don't wonder about me, don't worry about me, and don't think of me.

Like you've been doing all along.

It would be easier.

5. ...

You...

You've caused me so much heartache....I have just gone from grinning about my secrets, to snarling at the mere thought of your face...

I want to wrap my fingers around your skull and squeeze until it cracks like an egg in my palm.

I hate you for stealing her from me.

All the names you've called me, to make yourself look big, all the things you've STOLEN from me and claimed you did not.

Your bullshit

Your fucking LIES

They will all come back at you. Because I have not laid one finger on you, and you STILL burn my heart with acid, I know karma will come back at you.

Your shitty life you lead, bullshit.

Your childhood excuse to why you're fat, bullshit.

Your beliefs, bullshit.

And every lie you've told me, and every LIE from someone else that you claimed to know the truth about, everthing, everything, everything, everything, in this entire UNIVERSE that has ANY relation to you, EVEN HER, I hate with my fiber of being.

Now I wonder what you would think, if you actually knew this was about you. Would you be afraid of me? Would you want to kick my ass? Because honey, you wouldn't last more than a minute.

What I really want to know

Is if you would still think I was a pathetic cunt.

*sneer*

I'm soooo interested on hearing that.

And if you laugh...knowing...that this is about you. I hope you feel that chill run down your spine, knowing that I have bloodlust for your soul.

I just love the fact that those friends...so-called friends...that you honestly thought you had dancing in the palm of your hand, would give a flying fuck if you actually needed them.

You're so naive...it's to die for.

Fuck you

I hate your existance.

Die.

-----

Oh, these are all for people I know in real life. Don't panic .__.;

I don't think anyone that knows me on here know these people o_O

Aherm...*cough*

...


o__o;


Well...that was a bit intense for one evening